So Not Right

When I saw this photo online I couldn't believe a parent would actually put their child in something like this AND then take a picture - forever!

If you would, then you can buy your boob man shirt here. The other really nasty thing about this photo is that this kid's got teeth!! Maybe he's got a "soft" mouth like a good hunting dog, I don't know but it's wrong on a couple of different levels.

Update: It's Not Just Me!

I've discovered, by chance, that I am not the only one out there who struggles with my lackadaisical attitude towards housework!! There is actually a book, a tome, if you will, addressing the very concerns expressed in an earlier post bemoaning any time spent on housework and whether it's a worthwhile activity for any sane person, expecially a mom!

Well, worry no longer. Mary Randolph Carter has put all of these concerns into the wonderful book, Perfectly Kept House is the Sign of A Misspent Life: How to live creatively with collections, clutter, work, kids, pets, art, etc... and stop worrying about everything being perfectly in its place. Wow, what a title. Maybe I should start going by my maiden name as a middle name...it sounds kinda cluttery...I think I like the sounds of that!

Groupwork Sucks!

It's all one big frickin' fun-fest when you work in groups, right? Wrong and it was all my own damn fault. It was my hand that went up when no one else would volunteer during a staff meeting to join the two "golds" on the newly formed display committee, it was my voice that chirped, "I will", and then it was my dumbass that suggested "we" create a PowerPoint for the next meeting in order to present our recommendations and move forward in our merchandising of the library. The ultimate goal being the eventual attempt to go "Dewey-free". Think in terms of a bookstore. Great! An opportunity for all of us to have input on a final product that won't be a total dudster to sit in on and listen to at our next meeting because honestly, this crap is boring...!

So, we met and discussed our game plan. Good first step, check. We decided who would be responsible for what duties, check. We then came back together and discussed our progress, met with our boss and gave her the rundown, and then planned our presentation, check. Screech...back up! Remember the part where we discussed our various duties? Well, that consisted of us all agreeing to have input in the PowerPoint and the meeting presentation.

Long story short, I kept asking them for input and one would just say, "Oh, I trust you." and the other one would give me a print out of guidelines that she wants us to put in a handbook. This isn't rocket science people! We don't need a handbook to know how to put books on easels based on their spine label sticker. Can I jump off a cliff? Like now?! We need to figure out how we're going to make our recommendations to the group sound like they are their ideas and everyone's going to be excited about change and a bit more work.

I kept hoping that they'd step up and actually provide some input but I finally caught a clue and realized that it was on me to complete this task. I kept leaving blank slides and telling them to make changes and additions to it. No, it was all good, they said. So, when we got together to go over the final plans for our presentation, I asked who would like to present...yeah, they said "I could". One lady with the really nice printing did volunteer to write down audience ideas. The other one didn't even show up for the meeting. Man, I hate groupwork.

This is what groupwork is supposed to look like but that's not real life, is it?


So, in honor of others who've experienced this same BS, this is for you! This video is hilarious. I love her impersonation. Spot on!!

To You and Yours

I'd like to take a moment to express my thanks for everyone in my life and wish the very best to you and your family on this Thanksgiving eve. Here's hoping that nothing burns, the power stays on, no one drinks too much, everyone arrives safely and on-time, and that no one decides to talk about Glenn Beck, Snookie, or Jesus Christ. Here's to a neutral, family friendly holiday!

What's the Use?

Housework. The bane of my existence. On the whole, I believe that I maintain our home at an acceptable level. I think this to be especially true when I consider the fact that I grew up in a home where my mom had a propensity for hoarding. Her weapon of choice was mail. She couldn't throw anything out, especially the notices from the late Ed McMahon who would announce potential winners for American Family Publishers.

Who knew? I've not ever watched a single episode of the strangely popular show, Hoarders but I know people who do love watching it because they say it motivates them to clean their house. I think it's different for people who have lived with a hoarder...I can't imagine the allure of watching it. So, in order to avoid that pitfall I looked up some potential causes for clutter and thought I might address my clutter while keeping these points in mind.

1. You have too much clutter.
2. You don't have an established daily cleaning routine.
3. You don't do your cleaning routine often enough.
4. You never do a big clutter purge. 
5. You have kids. 
6. Your kids don't help with the chores.
7. Your husband doesn't help clean the house.
8. You don't know how to clean.
9. Your cleaning standards are too high. 
10. You really don't have the time or ability to clean. 

Chauvinistic Ad of the Day

There's a compilation of print ads from not-so-long-ago that are being compiled and promoted based on the fact that they would not make it off the cutting room floor if presented today, thank God! Some of these are ridiculous. Today's ad is a vintage stereotype about a woman's driving. Tell that to Danika!

Not Your Mama's Vampire Story

As I read the first chapter I knew that it was going to be "one of those" books. I would not rip through it like a bag of Lays potato chips...no, this one would be savored because I knew that this book contained a well-honed story, rich in characters, and plot development...yummy!

So, if you are swearing off vampires because you've overdosed on Edward, hang on, there is still hope. In, The Historian by Elizabeth Kostava, we discover a young girl, who although annoyingly, much like Bella in the beginning, lives a loving but lonely existence with her father. It's then we realize that she is telling her story as she tells his. In this mysterious account you must be willing to exchange Jacob for Barney, which then makes me wonder what Stephanie Meyer's was reading before she wrote Twilight. It's interesting that there are some obvious general comparisons that can be made but that's where it ends, directly at the point in which one author creates a tale steeped in historical research while the other author shows off her research on Harlequin romance novels. I'm not naming names but...

Then I found myself thinking back through time about my memories of Dracula and realized that it bit me before I hit puberty. There was Seasame Street, Old westerns, Anne Rice's Interview with a Vampire, Twilight, and now...The Historian. Oh, by the way, the last video, while around 9 minutes is totally worth the fun it pokes at Twilight and I think Perry's song is perfection!

Beautiful Point of View

When I saw the preview for the movie, Beautiful Losers, my first thought was of my experience in teaching 2nd grade and how sad it was when you came across kids who already were telling you that they "weren't an artist" and would hesitate in trying. That is so sad and I know that I have those moments of insecurity - we all do, but to look at people who create because that's who they are is truly beautiful.

The next thought to cross my mind when watching this preview was that I think I knew a lot of these people growing up and as friends of my younger brothers. 

Then I latched onto some of the artwork shown and thought, "I love that message!" I would like to text it right now to a couple of people I know but I don't have a cell phone - damn it!

Oblivious President

This morning I read a story about Obama congratulating his party on their efforts during the mid-term elections with more than a little amazement at the audacity of his statement; “This was about the volunteer effort, not the election result,” said Democratic National Committee spokesman Brad Woodhouse. “The party made 86 million voter contacts, we had staff or volunteers in 435 congressional districts, we raised and spent more money than ever in a midterm, we had the largest midterm field effort ever, we ran or staffed virtually all the coordinated campaigns in all the key states.”

The problem with this positive spin is that it flies in the face of his self- admitted "shellacking" and totally ignores the fears and concerns of most Americans regarding the US economy. It also glosses over the issue of political abuses and arrogance that impacts the voters daily in policy making. When will Obama and other representatives of we, the people, come to realize that there are problems and they're part of those problems?

Are You Kidding?

Yesterday morning I was appalled to hear on the radio (NPR) someone comparing the Driscoll Middle School team's trick play to that of child abuse. Really? I was impressed by the video when I originally saw it, so much so, I posted it on the teen blog that I maintain. I referred to it as thinking outside of the box. There are times and places that you have to make new rules without breaking the rules and for this guy to suggest that the coaches were being unfair by having the kids use a play that "they" created and not the kids, is a joke. Who does he (the guy from NPR) think makes up or decides to use plays in any sport that kids or adults participate in...too much PC and it's getting old, fast. It was brilliant and it's one of those plays that can be used only rarely because it is so brilliant in it's simplicity.

Then, if you've not seen the play yet, check it out!

Which Kid Were You?

Everyone on their deathbed will at least remember the first name of the kid who could (fill in the blank). From the coolest to the most disgusting memory, they are impressed upon our gray matter nonetheless (I love that word!). My list would start immediately with Aaron who had the most disgusting pair of Converse tennis shoes. They were an old black pair of Chuck Taylors and on the bus you could not only smell them from the front to the back, he would also proudly show you how the sole was literally rotting off the canvas. I believe duct tape was employed at some point to keep them on his feet.

Then there was the kid who constantly had his finger up his nose, the kid who had double jointed thumbs, elbows, or knees, the one that could flip his eyelids, the one who wore jeans that were way too tight - everywhere, or the girl who hid in the bushes and then later the coat closet ALL DAY long because she didn't like the perm her mom gave her. Then there was Chet who ran through the school with a huge bag of weed in the front of his pants yelling all the way that he had his pot in his pants. It was almost a John Hughes moment - so 80's. So, which kid were you?

 

Oh my goodness! 

 

I almost forgot to mention the kids who could cross their eyes, roll their eyes back into their head, on purpose, the genetically engineered freaks who could fold their tongues, and then for the pièce de résistance, the boy who could burp his ABC's.

 

Team Coco

Well, it's been a week since Conan's debut and it's looking good with Andy at his side, the Basic Cable Band sounding great, and the Masturbating Bear in his back pocket. It's one of those underdog stories where everyone's rooting for the little guy and in this case Leno is Goliath. So, while not officially a member of Team Coco, I am certainly a member in spirit and I will continue to TiVo that little show on whatever channel TBS can be found. Why wouldn't I love it? It is now officially #131 on the Stuff White People Like!

So go Team Coco, go! Just for fun, one of Conan's great promos for the show that I hope crushes every other talk show out there! I think that exclamation marks and TiVo are both now or destined to be on the Stuff White People Like list, if not already...

It's an Aunt Thing

Recently my youngest son celebrated his 13th birthday during which time he received a card from his aunt and her family wishing him a happy birthday. The card was a close-up photo of a tongue covered in sprinkles.

With Nathan's birthday card from his aunt laying on the table, it wasn't until one of the kids at his birthday party made the comment, "Ewww, who gave you that card?!?" Nathan promptly said, "My aunt." The kid's response was, "Oh, that makes sense!"

It does? Why? Is there something genetically hard-wired in aunts that causes them to be weird? This made me ponder the question, "Are all aunts weird?" I have noticed that my nieces and nephews all kind of watch me with what appears to be something close to apprehension, trepidation, or expectation out of the corner of their eye, like I might break out in some random rant, song, or dance that would embarrass not only them but the entire free world.

Hey, maybe I'm on to something because just the other day at work one of the pages at the library laughed at something I said, of course, and then followed it up with, "You know, you remind me of my aunt!" Really? So, I thought that I would do a quick survey on YouTube and find out how many weird aunts have been documented on film. When I used the key words, 'weird aunts' to search, I got about 1600 results. I've included two of those videos to commemorate weird aunts everywhere - these vid's are for you!!

Thank You Mr. Franklin!

It is with fond thoughts that I think of Benjamin Franklin this time each year as I bury my head deeper under my comforter. Why are the dogs wanting out already? Oh, it's really 8 AM *smile*. Why is Tim getting up this early on the weekend? Oh, it's already 8 o'clock *laugh*. Do I have to get up yet? No, it's only 7 AM!! *BIG smile :D* This guy really knew what he was doing...thank you Mr. Franklin!

Here's the Situation

Okay, I do not know who The Situation is or perhaps I should say, Mr. Situation. You see, I'm not really sure how someone becomes the "situation". I feel like the disorientated old person staggering around the grocery store parking lot looking for their car while asking, "What's a Bono or a Gaga?" Rather than a "whom".  I only had the epiphany that I was totally ignorant of some very current popular culture and of whom The Situation is when I saw the following clip:



Then I have to deal with the fact that when people say they watch Jersey Shore, I judge them. I judge them like I judge crack addicts (Intervention), baby mamas (Teen Moms), jack asses (Jack Ass), cheaters (Cheaters and Temptation Island), dead-beat dads (Who's Your Daddy?), men whores (Rock of Love and Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionare), idiotic money grubbing "women" (The Real Housewives of fill in the blank), and over-privileged obnoxious teenagers (My Super Sweet 16).

Unfortunately, the list goes on and on and on and I suppose I am just as guilty as any other person who watches reality TV shows. My poison tends to include Storm Chasers, Top Chef, and Project Runway. I suppose the difference between the shows I watch and the shows I look down on is like comparing the amount of sugar in Sobe Mango Melon (29 grams) and  Rock Star (31 grams). There is virtually no difference and in the end it's all staged and fiction is made reality. I do have to say that Michael C. on Project Runway was totally robbed, eeewww on Gretchen's designs, and Steve found a very chummy chum chum photo of Sean Casey and his nemesis, Reed Timmer from Storm Chasers on the red carpet, but I digress. What's real and what's not...This is when I am left with my thoughts drifting to the 2006 film, Idiocracy and wondering whether it will actually take us that long to reach that point...we might already be there.

Irony Brought to You Courtesy of the US Department of Defense

Can you believe it? Really? Okay, I'm just utterly flabbergasted that this is actually happening and during Banned Book Week no less! Despite the fact that the Army originally cleared the book, Operation Dark Heart only to have the US Defense Intelligence Agency later determine that the Army's clearance was not sufficient.

As a person who works with teens in a public library in the United States of America I find it appalling that I am promoting the concept that we, as Americans have the freedoms necessary to read any book we like, while this goes on in our country. Is what I believe really true? The numbers currently being reported are that 9,500 copies of this book have been BURNED...

Oh, by the way, Happy Banned Book Week, September 25 - October 2, 2010.

Regardless of What You Believe...

Over and over the issue is raised on the incorrect use of commonly used words such as, irregardless. This was the case on a recent NPR story that greeted me as I woke from my fluffy dreamworld.

This got me to wondering why it's not a word if it's used so frequently, albeit incorrectly. Then, when I looked up how it is determined that words will be added to the dictionary, I found that this is done through usage. What? The word irregardless is used all the time, yet anal wordsmiths refuse to consider accepting its' adoption into the dictionary! 

That doesn't seem right. I mean the word irregardless has done it's job by being easily accessible and applicable in many conversations. Why the snub?

Well, I discovered that one dictionary has embraced the use of irregardless, irregardless of it's official word status and that is in the Urban Dictionary. The Urban Dictionary is awesome and if you don't think so, your probably a major wenis! (Look it up.)

So, here is an excellent definition for the word, irregardless, according to Urban Dictionary:

"Irregardless: Used by people who ignorantly mean to say regardless. According to Webster, it is a word, but since the prefix "ir" and the suffx "less" both mean "not or with" they cancel each other out, so what you end up with is regard. When you use this to try to say you don't care about something, you end up saying that you do. Of course everyone knows what you mean to say and only a pompous, rude asshole will correct you."

To Know Him Is To Love Him

I have a soft spot for Mikey (*name is changed) now but it wasn't the way I felt on his first day of school in my kindergarten class. He almost immediately went to and under the art table, rocking, and making a terrible sobbing noise. And that's where he stayed until his mother was called and arrived to pick him up. She explained to me apologetically that his dad and she had just started dating and he was only slightly younger than his "step-sister" so they'd like him to be in the same class as her and they were certain that was the cause for this "unexpected" behavior. Well, it soon became clear that it wasn't because he was slightly younger. It was because Mikey was autistic. But no one said that and no one suggested that. Being a first-year teacher in a small Christian school where every student counted, didn't help matters. Finally after two sporadic weeks of attendance and performance, it was finally decided that Mikey would wait a year. Fortunately for Mikey, they waited two years, during which time he received more specialized attention through the local SPARC program.

By then I was teaching a 2nd grade and Mikey once again became a student in my classroom. He loved his "vids". He wrote everything in all capitals with no spacing between words. He self-soothed by rubbing his earlobes and flapping his arms. He taught a class full of self-centered 2nd graders how to be empathetic. And he taught me that not every child is smart in the exact same way.

The class taught Mikey that not everyone understood where he was coming from and that some explanation was helpful, not because they were being judgmental. They taught Mikey how to play hopscotch and shoot the basketball during recess. They taught Mikey how to make jokes and enjoy it when people laughed. And they taught Mikey how to want to be part of his peer-group.

It was a year that we all learned something about each other and ourselves. So, it is with a mother's pride that I watch Mikey visit the library on occasion. You see, Mikey is an eighth grader now and he makes eye-contact and greets me with his little crooked grin. He's learned so much and I'm looking forward to everything he has yet to learn in life. I think he's ready.

We just finished watching a great movie called, Temple Grandin as this movie explores autism and some of the special people who have become spokespersons for this disorder. It was sad, funny, and above all, inspiring. It is to be celebrated!

Where Did I Fail?

I thought I was doing everything right. I made sure that they grew up listening to bands like Styx, The Cure, The Cult, Depeche Mode, White Snake, Guns N Roses, Tom Petty, Toby Kieth, Beastie Boys, U2, Johnny Cash, Weird Al, Neil Young, and even Enya. My belief was that this exposure would prevent them from entertaining themselves with the likes of Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus, or God forbid, Justin Bieber. But alas, failure...or is it? Some would say that the music that the boys are listening to is an improvement over what they were indoctrinated with at a young age. Is it music when it's created by a 9 year old prepubescent girl who thinks she's a recording star or some wigger rapper out of Seattle. Eminem is so yesterday I guess and so are my musical tastes.

Irresponsible Book Reviews

Recently I finished the dystopian novel, Far North by Marcel Theroux, which I absolutely adored. Having drawn out the inevitable conclusion of this book by jealously guarding the number of pages read each night for fear of losing that elusive connection with the main character, Sheriff Makepeace, I knew that the end would one day arrive. Like time, there is no stopping it.

Makepeace, is the wraith-like guardian of a town inhabited only by memories. I went where Makepeace went, I experienced what Makepeace experienced, but most of all, I understood Makepeace. I so appreciated the honesty found in the words of this simple and hardworking soul, that despite the hardships encountered, they continued on. Yes, weaknesses are exposed but Makepeace's voice is so directly blunt and honest that when secrets are revealed, they are made all the more shocking along side the beauty of their simplicity. This novel actually caused me to contemplate humanity, mortality, and the nature of man.

So, I read a book that I love, what's my beef? Well, when I went to a co-worker to recommend this haunting book I hopped on line to pull up a review to refer her to but to my horror, the review that I first went to revealed every little nuance including some of my most favorite lines. That's a travesty. I promptly clicked out of it and expressed my disgust that this review was not only a spoiler, it was a stinker. 

I recommend the book, despise the review, and loved the artwork. I would suggest reading the copy shown above to avoid getting a cover that reveals too much about the book before discovering the secrets on your own. Now I'm off to find a copy of The Confessions of Mycroft Holmes: A Paper Chase by Theroux.

Scary Stats

Regardless of which side of the political fence you park your hiney, these statistics are scary!!

Here's an idea of which side I'm parked on...enough already!

Delicious Fish

While I was working Saturday I overheard a co-worker on the phone giving a salmon sauce recipe to her sister-in-law. When she finished on the phone I asked her for more details...it sounded delicious. She said that her mother gave her a recipe calling for mayo and mustard mixed with basil, thyme, and oregano. You then give it a dash of dill to finish it off and barbeque for 30 minutes. I made one slight change and added crushed pepper for a little pop. It was so yummy. I'll definetely use that recipe again!

* To prevent the salmon from sticking to the aluminum foil she suggested slathering on a layer of mayo on the skin side before cooking - it worked like a charm.

Cold Turkey

I did it. I quit Facebook.

Big deal though, right? I didn't want to do to sign-up for Facebook in the beginning but then decided that I'd give it a try and conduct a few experiments along the way. Everything I thought would happen did and more. Today was not only Memorial Day but it was also Quit Facebook Day. So, because of the various things I saw and experienced while using Facebook and the major issues surrounding the lack of privacy with Facebook, I thought that I would participate in this special occasion by doing that very thing, quitting.

Now, if you want to quit Facebook keep in mind that just "deactivating" your account will not really remove your account. In order to actually quit Facebook you'll need to go to this link, scroll down to the short method, click on the link shown, and then indicate to FB that, yes, you really do want to delete your account.

Happy Quit Facebook Day!

Dead Authors

I've just finished another book by a dead author. It wasn't intentional and I didn't realize that this was the case but I found myself puzzling over the back cover of The Glass of Time by Michael Cox and trying to figure out if the date shown on the back was of the book's completion date or...no, it couldn't be the year of his death, or could it? Then I turned around and read, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson and found myself facing a similar truth...these guys were dead!

At different points while reading the book I would flip to the back flap with information about this author that I've never read before and thought, is this seriously telling me that he received death threats? That's when I realized that this author was deceased as well. What is up with that? While I really liked the Glass of Time, I did not enjoy the second book, The Meaning of Night: A Confession. It just didn't capture my interest the way the first one did. With Stieg's book, I read it over the weekend but am now on the waiting list and impatiently waiting for the second and third book from the library but I wanted to read at least the first one before I go to see the Swedish film next week. It's supposed to be awesome and I can't wait!

No Truer Words

If you're a mom then I would imagine you could relate to this at one time or another.

You Couldn't Ignore Me If You Tried

The other day I heard a story on NPR discussing the impact of John Hughes' films. Can you remember the first one you saw? The Breakfast Club was classic with every teen represented and smartass remarks galore. I'll never forget the scene where the obnoxious teacher in the bad suit had the door slam shut on his attempt to prop it open with a folding chair. Classic! I would have to say that my absolute favorite Hughes film was Some Kind of Wonderful. While I am not, nor ever have been a big fan of Eric Stoltz, I totally loved the character of Watts and her unrequited love for her best friend. Music was the other essential component of his movies. Who can not help but think of Ferris Bueller's Day Off when they hear Twist and Shout? Regardless of which one you loved the most, it's hard to deny the impact his movies had on us.

The link below discusses the book, You Couldn't Ignore Me If You Tried: The Brat Pack, John Hughes, and Their Impact on a Generation by Susannah Gora.

What Is It With Picking Up the Tab?

Here's the problem. I periodically check our checking account balance on-line. It is not with the intent to snoop but merely to verify that things are as they should. They usually are with the exception of the occasional really expensive meal. You see, my husband will go out to dinner while working (he's in law enforcement) and it's not to Dunkin' Donuts.

This week it was to the Mexico Cafe. Okay, fine, he's a big boy and he earns enough to do that on occasion. My problem is when I see the total for $21.45? For one person? Here's where I'm mistaken. It is not for one person, it's for two. The situation is that when these guys go out to eat, one of them will offer to pick up the tab. It quickly becomes a game of tag because then the next time they go out to eat, the other guy will offer to pay.

Here's my problem, why do they do this? They carry their ID with them at all times and I'm gosh darn sure they are carrying their debit card or some cash. This must be a guy thing because anytime I've been anywhere with other women, we make sure BEFORE the meal that the server knows exactly who has what.

It just must be one of those "guy" things.

A Christian First

It caught me off guard the other day when my 12 year old son referred to himself as an Adventist homeschooler. Immediately I understood why he said this but I still stopped and asked him why he said it. He told me exactly what I already knew; it's the only thing he's ever known and he still identifies with that denomination.

He was around 2 years old when we joined the Adventist Church. We attended the same church for almost 10 years, the boys attended the church school during that time, I worked as a secretary at the church for 2 1/2 years before going back to school to get my degree in teaching and then taught at the school for 5 years. So, our life was focused and centered around our church and church family. He has only known himself, outside of our family, as an Adventist.

However, there came a point during which, I became disenchanted with the hypocrisy within the Adventist school system and the church. Specifically, the pastor's refusal to baptize our oldest son, who, after attending baptism preparation classes, twice, was refused this next step in his spiritual life because he played sports on Sabbath. This is despite the fact that there were wealthier families in the church with children in the same sports leagues who were allowed to get baptized. This broke my heart. I had seen first-hand some of the poor decisions and inequities within the church because of the humanness of the members but I also saw the damage it does to individuals and their walk with Christ along the way. In this case it was an opportunity for a young man to make a very special and public commitment to Christ and this man, who was our pastor, crapped all over it. How sad is that?

Having worked for and around the church and school for almost 8 years, I saw these situations on occasion but overlooked them and explained them away as I put my head down and plugged along being reminded that these men were not my boss. I do believe that God worked in incredible ways in my life during this time. However, this particular situation was the straw that broke the camel's back. The other breaking point was when, after expressing concerns with my oldest son's teacher about his grades and performance, she just smiled and told me what a pleasure he was to have in class. At that point I could care less about his deportment, I was talking about his performance academically. So, after being ignored and nothing being done in class to help him succeed I took my concerns to the school board chairman and shared that my husband and I were thinking about homeschooling our oldest as a result of the inaction on the part of his teacher. Well, she blew up and told me that "If the school was not good enough for my son then maybe it wasn't good enough for me." I took her at her word and put my money where my mouth was...I walked. With my husband's support, I quit my full-time teaching job, which I loved, in order to homeschool our boys, whom I love even more.

We withdrew our membership 2 years ago and have not joined another church since. We've visited a couple but have been faced with the mega, fast-food version of church or the small congregations where nothing will happen unless you're doing it. It is a huge investment of time and energy to find a church, join it, and become a part of it. I don't know when we'll be at that point again. In the meantime, we have to contend with family members who tell us that their salvation is secure despite the fact that they've not been to church in the last 20 years and then bop in and out of church on occasion and ask us why we aren't going to church. Sheesh...some people just don't get it.
 

Having grown up in a home divided by parents who attended different churches, priests that have acted selfishly and only considered their ego rather than the best interest of their members, or the hypocrites who judge others but are unwilling to look at themselves, make me want to throw in the towel on "church". In the end I just want my sons to embrace the idea that they are a Christian first, regardless of denomination or how often you step inside a church.

Take a Proper Leak!

Living in a household of men, I have, on occasion, experienced the agonizingly disgusting situation in which I park my backside on a toilet seat sprinkled delicately with urine. Yuk! Almost nothing hacks me off more than this scenario. It usually ends in my yelling loudly that no one with a penis is allowed to use that bathroom, ever!! This lasts about 7 hours until I and they forget. Is lifting the toilet seat really that difficult?

But, if you will notice that I said "almost" nothing hacks me off more and that almost is when women, who, when faced with the reality of being unable to find any paper toilet seat covers in a public restroom, then pull a Lady Gaga on unsuspecting women everywhere. We (women) naively assume that we can go into the "Women's" restroom and park ourselves on a public toilet without sitting in urine but I have been mistaken on a number of occasions. So, the next time you feel that your ass is too delicate to actually touch the plastic of a public restroom toilet seat, take your squatting, urine-spraying self into the men's restroom and piss in a urinal!

Wow, Where to Start?

Well, it's just over a month later since my last post yet so much has been going on. Our 16 year old son got a job at the local golf course, our 12 year old son is busy with AAU basketball practices during the week and tournaments each weekend and got his sports goggles, my husband got his custom made longboard, my father-in-law has been dating, breaking up, and dating again (same lady), my puppy Tillman has been growing and thriving (last check put him at 23 pounds), Leno stole the Tonight Show back from Conan, there was a devastating earthquake in Haiti with estimates of up to 200,000 dead, and the US federal deficit is expected to reach 1.267 trillion dollars by 2011.

Sheesh...I'm worried about what life will look like in a month from now, a year, a decade, let alone tomorrow. Everything is so fragile and I'm afraid that we, as Americans, are learning this lesson a little too late. Yet, the media, Hollywood, and our artificial world around us continues to distract us from what really matters. We're like a bunch of ADD kids at the circus without our parents.

I'm just as bad. I can tell you which movies are nominated for an Oscar (did you realize they're nominating 10 instead of 5 this year?). I could tell you about some of the concerns that Heidi's gone over the top with all her plastic surgery (but no I don't watch The Hills). I'm concerned that Brad and Angelina are going to break up, (NOT!). What about all those kids? They're worse than that Octo-mom. We could talk about Travolta taking his plane into Haiti loaded with a bunch of Scientologists and rice. Yesterday I learned that Lil Wayne is going to spend a year in jail. How's he going to get the weed that he loves? I'm worried. Or, looking a little closer to home, perhaps you've heard about the case in Thurston County where prosecutors charged three teenagers with Class C felonies for allegedly texting a naked picture of an underage girl. Did I mention the underage girl is the one who originally sent the picture? Sad.

So, what does this all mean? I have no clue but the information is coming in more quickly than I can process it. The whole thing makes me want to grab a copy of Thoreau's, On Walden Pond with a bag of peanut m&m's and hide out in the woods!