RECIPE
Ingredients (6 fragile people)
- 9 step self-improvement program designing father, destined to fail
- 1 heroin addicted grandfather banished from Sunset Manor for Seniors
- 1 mom who's trying to keep it all together while family goes bankrupt
- 7 year old, four-eyed Olive that participates in LMS Pageants
- 1 Nietzsche reading, jet pilot wannabe teen, lightly seasoned with a vow of silence
- 1 suicidal, gay uncle with a dash of Proust
- 2 porno mags
- 1 fag rag
- 6 heaping cups of love
- Pre-heat oven to 350° butter and flour a broken-down, yellow, VW van, preferably with a damaged horn.
- Prepare your basic roux (allow dad to have a complete meltdown in the dining room, add mom and Olive—whisking constantly—until it just begins to turn into a big yelling match about going to a pageant.)
- Heat suicidal, gay brother until hot, but not boiling. Add a small amount of heroin snorting grandpa into the mix, then add silent son. Surprise! You now have the basic foundation for a dysfunctional family meltdown in a Little Miss Sunshine Souffle.
- Add intense heat to each person. Whisk a small amount of porno mags, fag rag, and weird motorcycle cop into the mixture of the emotionally fragile family, then add stress of a beauty pageant back into the sauce, continuing to beat the hell out of mixture.
- Warning #1: Once you have mixed in the dead grandpa and the son's freak-out on the side of the road, you must be very careful to keep the overall mixture at a low temperature! Otherwise the family will have either a mottled texture or the consistency of a mysterious plastic petroleum by-product. Once dad drives over sidewalk and through landscaping to get to the pageant, almost on time, increase heat to the highest setting with a bitchy pageant worker and a totally over-sexualized pageant, competing children until warm enough to continue total and complete meltdown.
- Slowly add love, Rick James, and mix until family melts into a creamy, saucy dance. Bake for 1 hour and 41 minutes. Surprise! You now have a basic American family and a delicious Little Miss Sunshine Souffle!
Turn up the volume on this poor copy of the English version
Or watch a higher-quality German version!
